Dear Neighbor,
Please stop taking my water. I suppose you step off the elevator and see that 19 liter bottle of clean and refreshing water sitting by my door and wonder why someone has left it there. You're probably hot and tired from a long day of being in Korea in July. Maybe you think, "I'll just take a little off the top then bring it back," but never get around to returning it. Maybe you think it's abandoned and looking for a home. It's likely that you suspect you've been blessed by the water fairy and dance from my door to yours (as well as one can dance while carrying a 19 liter bottle of water.)
The point you miss in all this is the 'from my door to yours' part. If, in fact, it were abandonment or water fairy bestowal - it is clearly directed at me and not at you. The truth is, it's neither. The water is there because I paid for it to be delivered to my doorstep - a convenient and fairly cheap service. It's so cheap, in fact, that if you can't scrape together the loose change to pay for it - I'll gladly double my subscription if you'll agree to leave one bottle behind for me each delivery.
If you are reading this blog and wondering if it is addressed to you (as it may well be) here are some clues to narrow the audience:
1. you live in South Korea
2. you occasionally see a large white girl in the elevator
3. while waiting for the elevator in the mornings you often hear the squalor of an amateur violinist - or someone singing loudly in the shower
4. over the past two weeks you have had the good fortune to stumble upon and abscond a large, full water cooler jug, twice
Sound familiar? If so then you are my reader of choice today. Swing by and introduce yourself - you know where I live, it's the apartment that sometimes has 'free' water samples out front. I'll invite you in for a glass of milk (I'd offer you water, but I'm running out quickly.) We can have a nice chat, look at pictures of the family back home, laugh at the whole silly situation, and figure out what the next bold step is in our mutual hydration situation. I know we can find a way to make this work.
Sincerely,
Thirsty in South Korea
7 comments:
ooooooh i am so mad for you right now. how annoying.
Your posts make me genuinely happy. I'm digging the "clues" you left for the water thief. :)
Denise, your mom just sent me your blog address! You are and have always been such a creative writer! I love reading your thoughts and comments, plus the pictures, it's great! How long have you been in Korea, what made you decide to go there, do you enjoy it all? The kids singing "Yesterday" was Priceless! Here is my email: swnroz@yahoo.com
The Media tells us if we want to become Millionaries, we need to be teachers in South Korea! So how's it going for ya?!
I only meet the 2nd and 3rd criteria so I don't think it is me, But if it is I am sorry.
I'm pretty sure you make me laugh pretty hard still. Sorry about your water thief but that totally made my day!! I miss you tons!
Uh oh! I guess I am busted.
Next time you're lucky enough to get to your water bottle before me, just fill it up with white vinegar when you're done and put it back outside your door. When I take it home with me, I will surely be taught a lesson.
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